WHAT DO I REALLY WANT

Have you ever asked yourself a simple question that what you really want? I am quite sure that although it sounds a very simple question but when it comes to answering it one understands its true gravity? Talking of myself, even I had a similar notion about it. It all changed when I just sat quietly, gave my mind a little rest and started typing what naturally came to me.

The first stage of my mind when I am asking myself this question now, I want her to be with me for my entire life and even afterwards with sweet, wonderful and lovely feeling always flowing between us. Then all of a sudden another point came to me. What should I need to fulfill my desires or to live the life I want to live with her? Well, definitely I should me monetarily in a strong position so that my family would never face any like starvation or when we find it difficult to maintain a respectable and accomplished position in the society.

Now that is enough. You know what I did know? I just came from one room to another. Why? Because my friends were playing fifa 13 and making a hell of a noise and I needed silence to let my feelings flow freely. So, I just came to a second conclusion. At that moment what I needed was silence. Cool, calmness, silence and peace is what I need now to make me flow over this torrential feelings of mine.

I just used a word torrential. But do you know why I really used this word. Not because I have a fine vocabulary but I am trying to take it to a whole new level so that what I am writing could look more mature and meaningful so that if I ever go to a publisher to publish my works, I may not be rejected.

When I was I child, infact even now also, I want to be a cricketer. A good one. I have always wanted to play for Indian cricket team but couldn't get my chances.

Now when I am giving a look to what I have written till now I am finding a variety of desires floating across my mind. But atleast I am happy that it hasn't got stagnant.

So what I basically need is a peace of mind and soul, although I don’t actually know what soul really is.

I even planned to go for a trip of Himachal Pradesh so that I can feel and find myself. See what I really want in this whole world full of craziness and peculiarities and disturbances. I want to be among the mountains living my freedom and foremost experiencing what it really is. I just want to write myself and find the real reason of my existence. I really want to find it. What I am really meant to do???

But I think I am in love also. What can I do about it?? I mean that I can’t reach her, nor contact her, no phone no. email id, fb account and anything like that.

So I am really confused about all of this but what I really want is to be with her.

That is all that I want to say at present. Rest I leave it on you. What I mean to say that you can atleast get a general idea off the state of mind we all are having. The basic characteristic is same what is different is just some sub topics.