I CLOSE MY EYES TO SEE

We live our lives, sometimes among darkness and sometimes in light. There are times when we are all confused and are not able to figure out – WHERE TO GO? There are moments when see ourselves surrounded by mist and fog, at the same time there are movements when all that dispels. Rest assured, this blog will not turn out to be a moral science chapter. Today, I am writing this with the sole motive to discover myself, to understand myself in a better way. 

I am 21 years old and in the final year of my college. Companies are coming for campus placements. Like a few others of my age, I still haven’t been able to figure out my roadmap. There is this whirlwind inside be that has been blowing for as long as I can remember back. Today, I have got bundles of money, cars, bungalows, dignity and hunger for recognition hanging in front of me, pulling me towards them. What we sometimes fail to see is the ground below that object. Sometimes, there are even no grounds there to begin with, only a dark pit. I see all these with my eyes open.

Later, when I close my eyes to take a slow deep breath, I reach out to my heart, where I believe my truth and purpose resides. I see myself in a bright sunny grassland. The sun is warm and the wind is blowing with a wild soothing aroma.  My days are cherishing and my nights are calm. I have a kitchen garden. It’s all I need and is very beautiful. My visitors are sparrows and deer and rabbits and gooses, my friend is my serenity. 

    Then again, when I open my eyes, I come back to my harsh reality. I see the truth but am chained by ambition, fear and greed. Right now I am confused about what to do –    

1. Civil engineering 
2. Management
3. Listen to my heart

I can see clearly that the first two will only tighten my chains, and, the third one is my way to freedom and truth, where I won’t find any lie or shame.

Still, something inside me tells that if I really try it is possible that I will get what I want even by choosing the first to options, the question is – COULD I FIND MY PEACE?

I guess, once again I MUST CLOSE MY EYES TO SEE.